Author: The Tipsy Nerd

Intro

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Why Tipsy Nerd? Here goes nothing. After a some poor choices in my late teens, I swore off liquor. I rarely even touched a beer. A six pack lasted a year.

Then one year, early into my fifties, my wife and I went to her company’s Christmas party. They had a bartender and had tickets for two free cocktails per person. I was curious, but had no idea what to even order. I ended up getting soft drinks.

I wanted to know more. I mean, who hasn’t wanted a vodka Martini, shaken, not stirred, after watching 007? So at 52 years old, I, for the first time in my adult life, walked into an ABC store in my home state. As I walked in the door, I saw that the entire opposite wall, the entire length of the store was stocked with vodka. I whipped out my phone and started taking pictures of the wall of vodka.

Really? A wall of nothing but vodka? Rum in the foreground!

Then I  made a pass through the store and took more pictures of liquors. I skipped the gins, as I swore I never would touch it again after a bad experience with it at 19; its evergreen smell still haunted me. I felt much the same about the whiskeys, with visions of Wild Turkeys running around me in dizzying circles. A pass by the tequilas and rums yielded more pictures.

Ahh! Now here was an interesting section: liqueurs. So many flavors. More pictures. And then… I left.

I went home and started looking for online reviews and recommendations on what to buy. There were so many. And site X said this was the best. Site Y said that one was. I created a list. I weighted the sites. There was data to be crunched and analyzed!

And with that, the Tipsy Nerd was born!

On a follow-up trip, the clerk asked me if he could help me. I remarked that I felt like I such a nerd taking all these pictures and looking for reviews. He replied that he wished more people would do a little research.

Almost two years later, I’ve tried quite a few cocktails, learned what liquor I like and what I dislike, and discovered that living in an ABC state can be very restrictive when confronted with many cocktail recipes.

The First Sip

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For my first purchase, a vodka, I ended up settling on Luksusowa. It seemed to be an inexpensive (as opposed to cheap) Polish vodka made from potatoes, with the general opinion that it was serviceable.

I was off to the ABC store to acquire my carefully researched vodka, and then on to the grocery store for vermouth and assorted juices for mixing.

Once home, I poured a very small amount into a shot glass. I gave it a sniff. I only got a faint, but unmistakable smell of alcohol. So, now for a taste. Wow! Alcohol burn! It took me back, but now I was making a cocktail, not chugging whiskey.

I excitedly mixed my first vodka martini.

I poured it in the glass.

I pondered it briefly.

The Bond theme played in my head.

I sipped it expectantly.

DEAR GOD! WHAT IS THIS? WHY WOULD ANYONE DRINK SUCH A THING?

Okay, so that didn’t go well. Turns out, I’m not afraid to pour a drink down the sink.

If At First You Don’t Succeed…

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After the vodka Martini turned out to be a failure, back to the drawing board. Maybe it was the vermouth. How about something sweet, like vodka and a fruit juice. A little mix here, a little pour there. A hesitant moment… a sip… hmm. We’ll that is better. Much better!

This might work out after all…

Liqueur: Overview

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If you are looking for the heart of the cocktail for someone who may not care for strong alcohol, the liqueur is it.

A liqueur usually has a lower percentage of alcohol, compared to a liquor. It often brings a fair amount of sugar to the game which makes the alcohol seem to have less “burn”. And let’s not forget the flavoring which is the whole point. It can be a natural or artificial flavor.

In the cocktail world, probably the most well know liqueur is triple sec. If you’ve had a margarita, you’ve had triple sec. There is a large price differential from the bottom shelf to the top. I know there are people out there who can tell the subtle differences between a DeKuyper triple sec and Cointreau or Gran Marnier, but once buried in a cocktail with six other ingredients, I’d hazard that it doesn’t make a huge difference for most people.

Orange Liqueurs
An orange liqueur is generally produced “from the dried peels of bitter and sweet orange” (Wikipedia). This adds a hint of orange flavor, aroma, and sweetness to cocktails.

Limoncellos
Limoncello is typically made from the zest of tart lemons that have little bitterness. Lemon zest, or peels without the pith, is steeped in a base spirit until the oil is released. The resulting yellow liquid is then mixed with simple syrup (Wikipedia link).

Non-citrus Fruit Liqueurs
Fruit Liqueurs are made from a neutral grain spirit, real or artificial fruit flavors, and sugar.

Nuts/Pits
Almond liqueurs are produced from base of apricot pits, peach pits, or almonds.

Floral
Floral liqueurs are made from flowers that are steeped in a base spirit and typically with sugar added

Whiskey Flavored
Whiskey or Whiskey Flavoring are sometimes used in the productions of liqueurs.

Dessert Flavors
Coffee, Chocolate, Mint, Butterscotch and cream flavors are used to produce very dessert-like liqueurs

Liquor: Overview

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A liquor is usually the primary spirit in a cocktail. Liquors are typically distilled and bottled to a higher Alcohol By Volume (ABV) than liqueurs, wine or beer. They are tightly regulated (more so in some states than in others).

Liquor can be derived from grains, fruits, or vegetables, and the resulting product may carry some of the characteristics of the source material. In the case of vodka, the product is highly filtered, or repeatedly distilled to yield a colorless, flavorless product.

Vodka is often produced from potatoes or grains. Whiskey is also distilled from grains. Tequila is commonly distilled from the agave cactus. Rum is produced from sugar cane, or molasses.

Rum changed everything for me with regard to cocktails. Vodka offered only alcohol, but rum offered TASTE.

I realized with the first Martini, that maybe strong savory drinks weren’t my thing.

Rum led to Tiki drinks. Since I have a sweet tooth, it was a good fit for my taste. It goes to reason that a spirit produced from sugar cane would have a sweet character.

Light rum is usually unaged or lightly aged. It is usually presented in the bottle as a clear or nearly clear spirit.

Aged rums have spend some time in a charred oak barrel and some of the characteristics should be in the taste of the bottled product.

Dark rums might have spent some time in a charred oak barrel, but frequently have only had some caramel coloring added.

Rums with various flavors are common.

Spiced rums are made from a rum base with a variety of spice flavors added. Rums with coconut, mango, pineapple, lemon, banana, and other tropical flavors are readily available.